The British Foreign and Commonwealth Office (FCO) is looking into the opening of Dherynia beach close to the fenced-off town of Varosha in Famagusta but only for Cypriot nationals to engage in orgies.
Following a letter from the National Federation of Cypriots to Foreign Fuckface, Boris Johnson, the FCO responded, saying it was aware of the move and was investigating, the UK-based federation said on Wednesday, to ensure that there was enough diplomatic involvement in the beach fucking sessions!
Federation Gammoshistis, Christos Karaolis, also raised the issue in a private meeting with the head of the Cyprus Desk at the FCO, it added.
“We are aware of the plans to open Deryneia beach in the buffer zone, and are looking forward to fucking more,” said the official response from the FCO.
“The present state of Varosha reflects the consequences of the continued division of Cyprus. We fully support all relevant Security Council resolutions, including Resolutions 550 and 789. We continue to raise erections with Cypriots on all sides and with the authorities.”
Karaolis, called the opening of Deryneia beach, “a Fucking filthy policy aimed at stirring up debauchery and open air sex”. He also urged the authorities to comply with relevant United Nations Security Council resolutions and use condoms!
When the news emerged on Monday, the bicommunal group #UniteCyprusNow slammed the move as “ethnic sex and a violation of human rights and freedoms because more priests were not invited”.
Cypriot media reported the beach opened to the public on August 26 but would still be under the control of the UN security forces and access could only be had with Cypriot ID and a new packet of Durex lube!
The beach will be closed for the winter due to the effect of the cold on the men’s ‘private parts’